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18th April 2007

Gordon Burns @ 12:33

Current Grassiness: annoyed annoyed

I never learn really. I think I'm a good judge of character then "bam!" someone does something out of their assumed character which surprises me. Sometimes it's nothing major and often it doesn't really bother me but nestles in the back of my mind like a bad memory that rots its way into other memories.

I like to share my cultural experience. You may have noticed this if you have known me for sometime. Often I can be quite forceful and insistent with it; for example engineering situations where I can play examples of what ever bit of Scandinavian Rock I've discovered or deliberately twisting the conversation round to a particular film which I feel is relevant. I know my music tastes are not the same as everybody elses and I'm more than aware that not everybody likes my type of movie. Indeed other times I'm not as forceful and I'll detect some mutual appreciation and, if I know and trust the person well, I will part with a relevant book, film or album which I feel would illustrate the conversation or enlighten the beneficiary.

I suppose in a pompus way I'm saying I'm not adverse to lending people my stuff.

However, often there comes a time where I'll lend someone something at the spur of the moment. These days if it is a CD or DVD I'll lend out a copy rather than an original but sometimes there isnt time to make a copy and I part temporarily, with a minuscule amount of reluctance, with the original. More so with books. Now, since in the past I have lent out various books, cds, DVDs or computer games where I haven't had them back in the same condition I lent them out in, within an acceptable time or indeed at all, I tend now to keep a note of who has what. This note just tends to sit there, burning into my memory and the longer somebody has something the more it burns. Resentment builds and I become markedly different toward the person. Such is my nature.

I follow an unwritten edict. If I borrow something like a book or a CD/DVD from someone I


  • Ensure it is kept in exactly the same condition that I received it in

  • Endeavour to have it back to them within a month of borrowing it

  • Tell the person what I thought of said item in either a long review or a short discussion

  • Copy it for my own consumption if I really like it

  • Nip out and buy the book if I'm enjoying it and it's taking me an embarrassingly long time to read it (I run my fingers along the lines)

  • return the item on demand but feel slightly embarrassed



Naturally, and surely I'm not alone in this respect, I expect the people I lend my items out to to do the same.

Of course that isn't what always happens. Currently G of the genus Homo Lupus has my prized copy of Ghostwatch and also one of my Screenselect LOVEFilm rentals and because I'm a big girly poof, and I don't like asking people for things, I'll just let it lie and let the resentment build up until I forget about it entirely only to feel resentment once more when I develop a desire to watch, read or listen to the item. Thing is I fear, irrationally, that by saying "Ooh! G do you still have those DVD's?" he'll say something like "No fuck off I've turned your shite into compost" or just lie about not having watched them yet or I'll get them back all covered in blackberry jam and with the word FRISBEE written on it in crayon.



Then again, sometimes I worry too much....
 
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From:kingdavey
Date:18th April 2007 11:46 (UTC)
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I rarely lend things out anymore. I have a terrible memory, so I remember I have lent out something but can never remember who to. I've lost loads of Dvd's Videos, cd's and books this way.

I was talking to my girlfriend last night about the book "Sleepers" and the film of the same name. I used to own both, but they have since long gone.
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From:stegzy
Date:18th April 2007 12:11 (UTC)
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Now see. I too have a dreadful memory. Appauling. It has gotten worse with age (I'm convinced it's something to do with computer monitors and aluminium pans). So these days I try to write down who I have lent stuff too. Problem is I don't always remember to write it down and when I do I can't always remember where I've wrote it down....paradoxes galore in my day to day routines
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From:kingdavey
Date:18th April 2007 12:16 (UTC)
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LOL

If I write anything down you can guarantee that I will lose whatever I have written it on or not remember what I've written it on.
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From:zoefruitcake
Date:18th April 2007 11:49 (UTC)
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just email him, and get it over with. Email is a wonderful thing, people don't take it to heart so much :0)
I'm terrible, I lend stuff out and forget who has it. And I call myself a librarian ;0)
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From:fj_warren
Date:18th April 2007 12:14 (UTC)
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I'm terrible, I lend stuff out and forget who has it. And I call myself a librarian ;0)
Sorry but ROFLMAO!
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From:stegzy
Date:18th April 2007 12:18 (UTC)
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Hmm..Thing is he'd probably ask me to show him how to get his emails.
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From:billzy
Date:18th April 2007 12:18 (UTC)
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Im exactly the same... Most of my mates know not to ask to borrow something :P ;)
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From:fj_warren
Date:18th April 2007 12:21 (UTC)
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I try not to lend any more! Now, it is more than "It's mine! Buy your own!" because I get royalties on every book I sell. When delirious relatives ring me to say how much they loved the book and then go on to tell me how many family members they've lent it to I get a trifle peeved! In one particular family it has done the rounds of several households, within which four or five people have read the damn thing. I wouldn't mind but they've all got new cars and plenty of dosh! A few more purchases from them and I could have a motorized zimmer frame!
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From:think4yrself
Date:18th April 2007 12:40 (UTC)
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I always write down what I borrow from or lend someone because you just can't trust anyone's memory on these things, it seems... *sigh* It's surprisingly difficult to get people to return stuff sometimes, isn't it?
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From:mitejen
Date:18th April 2007 13:31 (UTC)
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I don't lend people things unless I am completely done with them and emotionally secure in the knowledge it will not come back to me, or drunk. When I am drunk I tend to force things on people and chase them out the door waving whatever it is in my hand (No really! You'll love this!). Sometimes I remember afterward and just a quick 'Hey, are you done with X yet? I'm only asking because [fake name here] asked me about it and when you're done wants to borrow it' is all it takes to A. Remind them it does not belong to them, B. Reminds them it is to be returned to me at some point, C. Reminds them that they have it in the first place, as many of my friends are as absent minded as I am.
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From:celticblissy
Date:18th April 2007 13:36 (UTC)
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I hate when people dont return things. Lent some things out in work. One guy had my Family guy season 3 dvd's from around june last year and never returned them. I did pester him and eventually I pestered him so much and he kept forgetting so much he ended up paying me the money for it, below its worth in the shops.

I also lent a girl my copy of Amelie and she never returned it for months then upped and left work so I wont see that again
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From:aladdin_sane
Date:18th April 2007 16:25 (UTC)
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its very rare I'll lend owt out these days because of all of the above. My sister is a nightmare with never ever returning anything I've lent her. Currently is a bread maker, 6 books, DVD box set.

Seeing as we'll never speak again, I guess I'll not be getting them back.

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