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20th March 2008

Bras @ 15:18

Current sounds: 'Everything Counts' from 'For the Masses: a Tribute to Depeche Mode' by 'Meat Beat Manifesto'

Bras eh? Mrs Gnomepants tells me she has her eyes on a sports bra to assist in her current "keep fit by doing Billy Blanks Tai Bo DVD's" regime. Indeed, not being a completely ignorant male, I am aware that these garments cost a fair whack. What I don't understand is why.

Undies right, I can buy a box of 5 undies for about a fiver (That's approximately $10 in plastic money). I can make them last a good year if not longer, even by wearing a clean pair every day. Hell the pair I had on yesterday cost me about £3 in 2003. They're still going strong and are not even threadbare. Bras, on the other hand, seem to cost an extortionate price of at least £30. Now I might be wrong, I don't buy bras, not for myself anyway, so I'm not familiar with the pricing structure other than what has been related to me via the wife. But £30!?

So one would hope that a thirty quid tit hammock would last a goodly while, it must be made of something like Dodo fur or dragon heart string or something. Pah! How wrong! It seems that Mrs G must have bra decomposing boobies or something because I can guarantee that within a couple of months the cry of "O woe! My bra! It's fux0r3d" fills my ears. So how come boob baskets seem to cost so bloody much? Surely this is the biggest con since razors for girls (no fucking difference to standard skin scrapers which cost us men a quid for 20). Is this some great mammary conspiracy?

Like toothpaste actually making your teeth worse to keep dentists employed; computer viruses being written by Symantec so that they can sell Anti-virus; Are bras designed to break to perpetuate the bosom support industry? Or am I just seeing patterns where there are none in order to sneak a post about tits into the LJ melting pot?

One for Mr Holmes, formerly of 221b Baker Street, me thinks.
 
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From:billzy
Date:20th March 2008 15:26 (UTC)
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Your soooo right!!! Ive thought this before...

btw bravo for the many different ways to call a bra! :D
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From:stegzy
Date:20th March 2008 15:29 (UTC)
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You should ask Claire her opinion. I imagine she goes through a fair few bras.
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From:billzy
Date:20th March 2008 15:37 (UTC)
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LOL You ask her!
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From:stainsteelrat
Date:20th March 2008 15:37 (UTC)
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There's a bit more to the construction of your average bra, but it's well known that women will pay anything - refer to the whole issue of women and shoes or handbags.
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From:sm00bs
Date:21st March 2008 05:44 (UTC)
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No, no... not all women will pay just anything. Those who are in the game of keeping up with the Joneses might, but not all. ;)

But yes, there is a bit more to the construction of nearly every bra compared to whatever tightie whities or boxers a guy might buy.
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:35 (UTC)
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Oh I don't know, Mrs Gnomepants doesn't keep up with the Joneses, more like the Joneses keep up with Mrs Gnomepants.

Not only that, my undercrackers are fairly complex in design. Something to do with aerodynamics I believe.
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From:sm00bs
Date:21st March 2008 14:51 (UTC)
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LOL!!
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:33 (UTC)
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Handbags! Shoes! Gah! Touchy subject that.

Anyone would think that Gnomepants Mansion is a gallery of some vast Shoe/Handbag collection rivalling the legendary Imelda Marcos judging by the obstacle course one has to clamber over upon entering.
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From:touchofgrey
Date:20th March 2008 15:53 (UTC)
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It all depends on where you buy them, and probably how, um, gifted you are in the upper region. I can go to Victoria's Secret here and buy a bra for $30-$50+, or Wal-Mart and get one for maybe $10. (Not that I buy bras or much of anything else from Wal-Mart...) I don't need a gigantic one, though. (Don't usually wear one at all, but that may be TMI. *LOL*)

Honestly, it's been SO long since I bought one that I can't even remember what I paid for it, but the last one I got was a sports bra and I think it was $15. And even Victoria's Secret has half-price sales pretty much constantly.

I do, however, feel compelled to quote from Gretchen Wilson's song "Redneck Woman." ;-)
Victoria's Secret, well their stuff's real nice
But I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal-Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy, just as sexy as those models on TV
I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me
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From:kyaathecatlord
Date:20th March 2008 17:01 (UTC)
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I have a thing for K-Mart lingerie.

TMI, I'm sure.
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From:touchofgrey
Date:20th March 2008 17:06 (UTC)
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Not any more than my admission of a fondness for lack of lingerie. *LOL*
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:29 (UTC)
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Wal-Mart, being the corporation of the divil, probably make a 90% profit on their bras.

Victoria's Secret is not widely known about round these parts. Maybe I'll point Mrs G in the direction of on-line knocker cradle shopping.
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From:touchofgrey
Date:21st March 2008 13:47 (UTC)
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Knocker cradle. *LOL*

I hate Wal-Mart. I don't think I've ever bought underwear there, although we do end up buying a lot of stuff for the boat because it's either there or the one boating place where the same stuff is like 4x the price or more. ($150 for a $35 boat seat. Uh, no.)

No Victoria's Secret? What is the snooty lingerie shop in your area?
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From:lolita_fielding
Date:20th March 2008 16:27 (UTC)
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I thought that sexy cleavage enhancing bras were expensive and sports bras were cheaper.... but then I don't do sports I sit on my bum eating Mash so I may not be an expert....
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:26 (UTC)
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Seated Mash Eating is an olympic event this year you know
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From:origamitiger
Date:20th March 2008 16:39 (UTC)

Bras

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I have just found you through poggs LJ.
Bras do take a lot of construction. They are fiddly things and there are a lot of cheap and nasty ones out there. Hopefully paying for reasonbly constructed bra it will last longer. M&S ones are quite good on price and lastability. they are also supporting more than you underpants. Just because they are called under wear does not mean you can compare to undies, they are way less complicated.
A good sports bra is literally engineered to reduce bounce. Bounce or the movment you get of the breasts in exercise can be as much as 8cm which is huge. It can cause the breast tissue to tear and generally be very uncomfortable. I know that Berli produce their sports bras from research from the australia institute of sport and they produce a running bra and other ones for different style of sports. The upside of a well fitting and supportive bra is that your breasts stay perkier for longer.
Bras don't last for a number of reasons. One is the fabric, it is generally something with lycra or elastic in them and they streach and degrade over time. Then you lose the support. Also washing them in the washing machine freely is not good for them. Handwash is better and if not, fold the bra and tuck the straps in the cup and place in a laundry wash bag and when you hang them out don't hang them by the straps.
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:17 (UTC)

Re: Bras

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**waves**

Hmmm Thank you for the insight into bra engineering, it seems bras are a lot more complex than I first thought. Are you a bra scientist? I think you should be.
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From:origamitiger
Date:21st March 2008 15:11 (UTC)

Re: Bras

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Costume designer. Sew for myself and my husband. Have made corsets which are easier than bras. Have toyed with making my own and have decided to leave it to the experts.
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From:icemaiden013
Date:20th March 2008 17:27 (UTC)
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they key to nice boobs and limited back trouble is through a nice bra, they are extortionately expensive -for the good ones, the durable ones, if she spends 6quid in primark for one it'll need renewing after a few washes...

the thing with bras is that they lose shape with every wash! :)

i loved that post though! :)
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:15 (UTC)

the thing with bras is that they lose shape with every wash!

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A bit like jelly.

Maybe bras are made of jelly. It would explain a few things.
From:das_clive
Date:20th March 2008 17:28 (UTC)
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You can get a right nice sexy bra for £12 from Debanhams. And undies to match for a couple o' quid. Tell Mrs. Gnomepants to get down there forthwith. That's where I get mine from and the bras last two or three years, in my experience. I'm not one to go shopping unless it's absolutely "go shopping or die a slow horrible death" necessary, so I swear by their longevity.

Sports bras, on the other hand, I know nothing about. That would require me to have aspirations of doing something vaguely sporty, which is highly unlikely to happen any time this side of forever.
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:14 (UTC)
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I think she shops around. Matalan and Ethel Austin are two places I can recall her spending hours in looking at bras.

Personally I think she's just fixated with looking at bras.
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From:aladdin_sane
Date:20th March 2008 17:30 (UTC)
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the bra only costs £5 and she's spending the other £25 on kebabs but this is a dark secret she doesn't wish you to know about.
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:12 (UTC)
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I thought so
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:12 (UTC)
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I agree. Expensive clothes are made for next to nothing out of cobwebs and cheese. It's no wonder they fall apart
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From:zoefruitcake
Date:20th March 2008 21:48 (UTC)
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you can get cheapo bras, but they don't support and they last a fraction of the time. I have knickers that have lasted from the last century, but then I expect things to last
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:10 (UTC)

I expect things to last

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Me too. Imagine my horror when my Jelly Belly Bean Machine broke after 10 years of use.
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From:sm00bs
Date:21st March 2008 05:46 (UTC)
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LOL Love it! :)
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:09 (UTC)
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Not as much as me. I never thought in a million years a post about bras would provoke such a reaction.
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From:sm00bs
Date:21st March 2008 13:10 (UTC)
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I don't think it's so much the subject matter as it is the manner in which it was written. ;)
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From:touchofgrey
Date:21st March 2008 13:49 (UTC)
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I keep telling him he could be Europe's Dave Barry, if you've heard of him. (No idea how popular he is outside of Florida.)
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From:sm00bs
Date:21st March 2008 14:52 (UTC)
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Dave Barry is pretty widely known... I think the papers from nearly every place I've lived carried his column at some point or another (can't remember if it was in the paper or if it was in Parade magazine). I used to have students read his column for forensics speeches. ;) Love the man!

And yeah, he could be... easily. :)
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From:touchofgrey
Date:21st March 2008 14:58 (UTC)
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He's awesome. (Especially when I lived in Miami, his local commentary just killed me at times!) And I've told stegzy that he has a very similar writing style. I think we must keep poking him about this.
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From:sm00bs
Date:21st March 2008 15:07 (UTC)
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I think that's a very good idea. I know plenty of people here would enjoy reading him!
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From:touchofgrey
Date:21st March 2008 15:39 (UTC)
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Hey, stegzy, *poke*
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From:sm00bs
Date:21st March 2008 15:52 (UTC)
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LOL

Yeah... *poke and prod* !!
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 16:41 (UTC)
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Ouch!
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 16:41 (UTC)
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Oww!! hey some of us are trying to do a journalism degree ;-) x
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From:touchofgrey
Date:21st March 2008 16:54 (UTC)
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Yeah, but if you can pop out newspaper columns like you pop out LJ posts, I doubt you'd have to worry about dealing with things like employment.
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From:louenn
Date:21st March 2008 09:19 (UTC)
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She needs to find an outlet of La Senza 'cos they permamently have cheapo but good bras available. Or Matalan or TK Maxx. I've only purchased one bra that cost over a tenner in the last 12 months.

Although I don't know about sports bras, because I do sport about as much as a dead slug does sport.
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From:stegzy
Date:21st March 2008 13:08 (UTC)
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The slugs in my compost bin seem quite sporty. But then I suppose they are alive.
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From:jedicat
Date:25th March 2008 22:23 (UTC)
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Bras are frelling expensive, and they will fall apart. There's a lot of elastic in them, in places you wouldn't think there was a need for elastic. It's worse the more well-endowed the woman is. (I'm a DDD, so bras are ridiculously expensive and damn near impossible to find unless I go to Lane Bryant, and even then, they're between $30-50 unless I get them on a twofer sale...)

You can't compare them to men's underoos, which typically don't support much. Bras have to not only bear the weight of heavy breasts, but they have to actually transfer the weight of them to other parts of the body, whilst maintaining a pleasing silhouette. Consider a knee brace; a really basic cloth & velcro & elastic one will cost ya in America about $15-20. (Keep in mind, it only covers one knee.) Wearing it every day, all day, assuming you're a sedentary office worker, it will last only a few weeks before the elastic gets all funky.

...And no, I do not recommend sitting the wife down and suggesting to her that she should sew together two knee braces instead of buying new bras.

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