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The Existential Compost

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18th May 2011

Poll Arh @ 19:04

Poll #1742620 How do you know?

Osama Bin Laden is

dead
7(53.8%)
still alive
3(23.1%)
a fabrication of the Western Imperialist State
3(23.1%)

You know this because

you saw it on telly/ the newspapers said so
2(16.7%)
the Government said so
2(16.7%)
you saw the body
0(0.0%)
you were the soldier that fired the gun
0(0.0%)
a friend of a friend knows the brother of the wife of the soldier that fired the gun
0(0.0%)
you have evidence which you will back up
0(0.0%)
he hasn't come forward to say he isn't because that would be the logical thing to do if everyone was looking for you and wanting you dead
5(41.7%)
you are him
3(25.0%)

Neil Armstrong

went to the moon
5(41.7%)
sang the hit song "Solitary Man"
2(16.7%)
didn't go to the moon
5(41.7%)

You know this because

you saw it on the telly
2(16.7%)
you saw the foot print on the moon with your own eyes
0(0.0%)
you live on the moon
1(8.3%)
you have the CD
1(8.3%)
the Government said so
0(0.0%)
you are Buzz Aldrin
2(16.7%)
you know the woman who used to know the brother of the wife of the owner of the dog that once bit him
3(25.0%)
it was all filmed on a back lot at Pinewood studios
3(25.0%)

There is

a cat in your box
2(16.7%)
no cat in your box
0(0.0%)
simultaneously a cat and no cat in the box
4(33.3%)
no box
6(50.0%)

You know this because

this question was clearly made up just to prove a point that nobody will understand without drinking lots of alcohol and smoking a really big joint
2(16.7%)
you saw the box
1(8.3%)
you saw the cat in the box
1(8.3%)
you saw there was no cat in the box
0(0.0%)
which box?
3(25.0%)
my brain hurts
1(8.3%)
my Brian hurts
4(33.3%)

Stegzy Gnomepants is

a real person
4(33.3%)
a random text generating computer program
3(25.0%)
weird
0(0.0%)
the sexiest person on the world and I want to have sex with him
4(33.3%)
a figment of imagination
1(8.3%)

You know this because

you designed him/it
1(8.3%)
he never makes sense
1(8.3%)
you have built a shrine in my bedroom to worship him
0(0.0%)
the telly said so
0(0.0%)
the government said so
1(8.3%)
you put him in the box with the cat
5(41.7%)
you bumped into him on your way back from the moon to kill Osama
4(33.3%)

Tick this box

if you want to receive specifically targeted junk mail, giant radioactive mutant poison slime oozing donkeys and a box of angry wasps
9(100.0%)
 
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Comments

 
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From:louenn
Date:19th May 2011 07:25 (UTC)
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I don't think you can have sensible answers to this sort of a poll. :D Thank you for making me smile this morning.
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From:stegzy
Date:19th May 2011 19:36 (UTC)
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A pleasure :D
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From:technophobe1975
Date:19th May 2011 21:35 (UTC)
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Weirdly enough Solitary Man has just come a compilation CD that I am listening to.
He has a great voice for an astronaut :)

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