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17th December 2011

Birthday Post @ 18:01

pbsIt’s bad enough, when born this time of year, to be told “Oh I’d have got you a birthday present but I’ve got you a bigger Christmas present” by cheap skates hoping to pull the wool over already tried before eyes. But what’s worse, especially recently in the UK, is the chuffing post.

 

While all around me are putting up their Christmas cards in displays of social popularity I have to hold off opening cards I receive before my birthday, which, if you didn’t know, is today. A few years back I realised that when my birthday arrived I had fewer birthday cards to open on the actual day than my peers because I had opened mine by accident thinking “Oh it’s a Christmas card, it should be safe”. So recently I have taken to stock piling the cards received through the mail until the actual day and then I have a mass card opening ceremony.

 

Usually I get about a 3:2 birthday/Christmas card mix with some cheeky sods trying to sneak a Christmas card in with the birthday card or, if they’ve thought ahead they put the birthday card in with the Christmas card (which I don’t mind as long as that’s in an envelope marked “birthday”). However, over recent years the Post Office in Warwickshire have been a bit shit and cards sent way in advance don’t arrive until way into the later weeks so my pre-birthday Christmas card opening abstinence seems to be a bit futile.

 

manLast year the postie had a good excuse. Most of the UK and Warwickshire was under a thick blanket of snow and poor Postman Pat was at risk of slipping on the pavement. Meaning they would be having to take time off work with a sprained foot and a personal injury claim. Fair enough. This modern snow can be lethal. Those Victorian and postWW2-pre HSWA(1974) postmen had it easy. I’m surprised today’s postmen don’t have to wear special wire lined gloves in case they get a rather nasty infected paper cut from an overtly sharp envelope.

 

Last year’s snows and postage backlogs meant that I was getting birthday cards well into the New Year, which was nice. Amusing in a “Ne’r mind eh?” kind of way.

 

plaThis year though, I thought it would be better. No snow in the midlands. Not a drop. Well at least in Leamington Spa at any rate. Through the week I had received a good few cards through the mail. I’d say about 9 or so. A few who’s origins I could guess and a few I could not. It was going to be a good birthday morning, opening these cards.

 

Just after my breakfast of Cinnamon Grahams and a cup of tea, I began the opening ceremony. One by one I gingerly teased each card out of it’s envelope revealing either ageist birthday mirth or greetings of seasonal persuasion.

 

The score was roughly

 

BIRTHDAY CARDS 6

CHRISTMAS CARDS 5

 

A nice balance. But no fear, I thought, it is Saturday today! The Royal Mail still deliver on a Saturday. Maybe I’ll get some in the post today!

 

Of course, sitting round expectantly is not something I can do these days, so we opted to brave the early morning cold and penultimate-Christmas-weekend  shoppers and grab a few things before we came home for the afternoon to see what exciting things were in line for the rest of the day.

All the while I was like “heheh I can’t wait to get home to the mountain of cards that will be awaiting me on my doorstep”.

 

It was the spirit that enabled me to battle through the shuffling horde of consumer zombies.

 

The vim that vigorously calmed my need to vent venom at gawping gormers goggling at festive gifts of grot.

 

The spice that added fire to my mental curry of warmth empowering me through the ice knife cold Warwickshire winds. 

 

So you can imagine my face when I opened the front door with the eagerness of an expectant child on Christmas morning only to find….

 

EVERY

 

SINGLE


STUFFING

 

ENVELOPED

 

CARD

 

THERE…….

 

 

there was for Fruitcake.


Chuffing Nora.

 

NOT A SINGLE ONE delivered today was for me. NOT ONE.

 

ON MY BIRTHDAY!

 

***Frump***

 

***SULK***

 
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Comments

 
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From:fj_warren
Date:18th December 2011 06:35 (UTC)
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I'm sorry but I didn't send you a birthday card this year as I've been trying to get all the stuff from my old, very old, pc to a more modern one which, basically, doesn't want to know. My old pc crashed and I've been struggling to get the business accounts transferred but a pressie is winging its way to you I can assure you! :) As the purple wrapped box within the box is the actual birthday gift you may dive in upon it and rip off the wrapping without fear of consequences and my apologies for being late in sending all my pressies off!

I was going to send email greetings at least for your birthday but I missed doing that so apologies once more. :(:(

Next year I'll get started on an Aran jumper extra early so, not only will you get your gift in advance, but you will have the added satisfaction of looking like a 1980's throwback tosser into the bargain!! :-D

Hope the birthday was enjoyable at least and, trembles with excitement, a gift arrived for me on your birthday . . . ironic or what?! Thank you both in advance! :) xx I shall put it under the tree . . . or I will when I have got a tree to put it under!! Told you I was a bit behindhand with Christmas this year.
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From:louenn
Date:18th December 2011 09:28 (UTC)
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I'm buying stamps today and will send a belated something. I shall then go and make sure the date is in a calendar so I won't forget next year.
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From:technophobe1975
Date:18th December 2011 15:42 (UTC)
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My mum's birthday is on December 23rd, so she has exactly the same problem as you!
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From:tvor
Date:18th December 2011 15:56 (UTC)
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Happy Birthday.. belated.

I never mind not getting Birthday cards on my birthday. I seem to end up celebrating for a week or more by the time all the cards and gifts arrive as people are available. Makes it last longer :)

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