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The Existential Compost

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18th May 2014

Daventry Local Elections 2014–David Smith @ 22:05

Continuing my insights into the local council elections in Daventry, covering the Weedon ward.

“Parliamentary politics do not belong in local government” – Mr Pritchard, Barnsley

Too true. And yet most local elections end up being a barney between central government sponsored councillors. It makes me wonder where all the funding put into the promotion of the candidate goes, because they surely can’t be spending it on the crappy, poorly spelt leaflets that they shove through the door when everyone is at work.

Today – David Smith, Conservative

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[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="289"]David Smith David "Don't pick on me" Smith[/caption]

This is he. I think. He looks like the kind of person one might have experienced at school. The one who hangs around with the School Governor's kid as their minion.

Oh look….

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="308"]Untitled-2 Vote for us or we'll have your lunch money.[/caption]

I was right…There he is with the school governor's kid. Chris Heaton-“I block people I disagree with on Twitter”-Harris.

The leaflet that one of his acolytes posted through my door is laid out as a letter on one side and what he’s going to do on the other.

Apparently  he is the:

“Local Choice for Weedon Ward”

Which is curious as for once, they’re all local people.

He’s also a “Hard working local campaigner” and he is “Standing up for the issues that matter to you and your family”.

Really? He must be very tired. I look forward to meeting him in the White Horse, Norton, so he can stand and tell me about these issues and why I should vote for him.

He’s lived in Weedon for 7 years with two daughters and two grandchildren. Two grandchildren? Really? At your age?

He is a local business man who has run a successful business  for the past few years. What that business is, I have no idea. Perhaps it is yoghurt weaving.

He’s been a member of the Weedon Neighbourhood Planning Group – never heard of them, and believed that local people deserve a say over the way their village looks and feels – That’s nice of him.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="308"]Shitting Standing up for issues by having a shite[/caption]

He will be campaigning against large scale and inappropriate developments in our future  - so that’s the proposed Giant Phallus development scuppered.

He also mentions broadband, the Weedon Bypass and Over development – yes, those pesky washed out photographs are a nuisance.

He hopes to me me on my doorstep during his campaign. I hope so too. Then he can tell me:

- What he’s going to do about fuel prices in Daventry

- How he’s going to increase sustainable employment opportunities in Daventry

- What he’s going to say when he’s enjoying a council tax paid for lunch at my expense (and it better not be “Thanks”)

On the reverse there are three priorities highlighted.

Protecting our villages – He’s going to fight to ensure our villages remain preserved and unspoilt. I look forward to seeing him getting into fisticuffs with 20 burly navvies who are trying to erect a housing estate.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="308"]feeting darn pontie way David Smith wants to fight with builders and planners. Something I'd pay to watch.[/caption]

Fight over development in our villages – Yes, Max Spielmann must be stopped!

Give you a voice – I have one. You’re reading it.

He goes on to talk about what has been achieved so far:

Low council tax – really? Can’t say I’ve noticed

Opposition to inefficient windfarms – If they were inefficient, there wouldn’t be so many of them.

Improving frontline services – I’m sure the Tommies will be pleased. Over the top please…

Attracting inward investment into our district – Yeah, that’s taxes in another language. There should be more investment in the area, agreed, but not just at the expense of the people that live here

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="308"]icon Smithy reckons he built this with his bear hands.[/caption]

 

A new University Technical College – You did that single handed did you? I don’t think so.

Standing up for local people to protect our beautiful countryside – Have a seat mate.

Weekly food waste collection service – An EU requirement, not something you can take credit for I’m afraid.

Supporting DACT and Advice Daventry – How? Please explain.

Free parking throughout our district – Except at the country park.

Working for more affordable housing – Whilst stamping on development and proposals for new housing? That’s a bit contradictory. Please explain.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="308"]Or he's going for a stroll. Look out! He's standing up! In the countryside! He's looking for a fight!![/caption]

I smell the freshness of the countryside. Oh no, sorry it’s the shite pouring from your election leaflet.

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The offer still stands Mr David Smith. Come and tell me why I should vote for you in the 2014 Daventry Local Elections. Stand up and tell me. Like you promised.

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Looks better on http://www.stegzy.com

 
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Comments

 
[User Picture Icon]
From:dreamitdoit
Date:19th May 2014 16:48 (UTC)
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"Standing up for issues by having a shite"

This is hilarious to me.
I am very into politics but even I know local elections are full of rubbish. Still, local elections do show how disgruntled people are - people will vote more willy nilly in a local than they will in a general and that's interesting to me.

So far through my door, we've had: BNP (we hate all the foreigners even though Wolverhampton is full of them! Vote for us and we'll kick you all out!), UKIP (don't you think you're getting any benefits if you have a baby, we'll have no maternity pay here!) and Labour (our leader is a wet lettuce but we're all too weak to push him out!).
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From:stegzy
Date:20th May 2014 07:29 (UTC)
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As per my most recent post, I've had plenty of EU election fliers through the door but only 2 local election fliers - UKIP and CON.

Considering that the ward I'm in is a crucial tipping point for the CONs, that is terrible. There is a LAB, LIBDEM and a TRADEUNIONist running but I have no idea what they are running for. Even tweeting the local LAB candidate has failed to foster any information.

It's as if they're not arsed.

Unfortunately UKIP seem to have swallowed the IND vote in these parts. Which is not good, nor is it in the ethos of being an IND.

Next election, I'm having a go.

[User Picture Icon]
From:zoefruitcake
Date:19th May 2014 21:36 (UTC)
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So if he said he'd give free parking at the country park would you vote for him?
[User Picture Icon]
From:stegzy
Date:20th May 2014 07:30 (UTC)
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Only if he comes round with his cronies, does a dump on our doorstep and stands up.

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