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The Existential Compost

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13th March 2017

Darn pit @ 21:22

I have low Vitamin D.

Possibly because I'm a northerner and have lived a short spell in Gods own county, Yorkshire (technically the south bit; that's where all the culture is) and lived near a former coal mine for a few years. Indeed, it is quite possible that it is because I slather myself in zinc sunblock when I go outside for fear of getting sunburn. Moreover, it is also highly likely that it is due to my love of Islamic fashions and my continuous wearing of a full-length burqua.

So last month I subjected myself to a "supplement" of 2 ampoules of Vitamin D a week for six weeks. Horrid stuff. Tasted like oily chocolate orange. Oh how the guys down the pit laughed when I told them about it all especially Old Jimmy "Bandy legs" Brown. He laughed so much his last tooth fell out.

Next week I'm hoping that my GP will diagnose me with scurvy, that way I'll hopefully get to have bags of oranges on the NHS. After that, no doubt the doctor will scold me for my Marmite aversion causing my bad dose of beriberi. I only have myself to blame. Woe is me.

In other news though. New car on Wednesday. It will look like this:



Only in black and with a floppy roof.

In other other news. Left alone to my own devices at the weekend I foolishly watched Sinister II before watching hours of Youtube videos about Number Stations. Silly thing to do really. Fortunately the man who hides in the attic and the creepy dwarf guy who lives in the cupboard under the stairs kept the odd menacing scarecrow figure in the allotments at bay. That and the occasional knocking on the wall from the empty house next door.
 
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From:fj_warren
Date:14th March 2017 08:37 (UTC)
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Nice car! Question: Will it have a sun roof? If it does you will be able to drive with the sun roof open and thus get the benefit of all those ultra violet rays you've been missing out on down t'pit! Of course, you will also be subjected to all those traffic fumes that are shortening our lives but wtf! No pain no gain as they say.
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From:zoefruitcake
Date:19th March 2017 07:28 (UTC)
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Ah yes, that is an excellent use of the sunroof! We did have it open a little yesterday but it was very cold and very little sun for that pesky vitamin D
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From:stainsteelrat
Date:14th March 2017 20:03 (UTC)
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Vitamin D deficiency twins!

Fortunately the man who hides in the attic and the creepy dwarf guy who lives in the cupboard under the stairs kept the odd menacing scarecrow figure in the allotments at bay. That and the occasional knocking on the wall from the empty house next door.

I LOL'd.
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From:zoefruitcake
Date:19th March 2017 07:29 (UTC)
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Just remember that when Lu and the girls are away and you are alone...
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From:zoefruitcake
Date:19th March 2017 07:29 (UTC)
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Bloody hell, I leave you alone for a couple of nights and you discover all the extra freeloaders living around here

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