April 21st, 2013


Dreaming Spires

Last night I couldn't remember what company I worked for. I knew it was something to do with health and safety but it was more to do with labelling things. Anyway, some mad woman called the helpdesk which I didn't work on but I answered the call. She said that she needed an entry making into a database for a homeless guy who was thinking about buying a caravan. Static of course. I was concerned because I'd left my bike leaning against a bay window with blue windowsills in a part of the town I'd never been to before and besides, I was busy spying on Mrs Gnomepants who was with her sister having just come back from a holiday in the mines at the bottom of her sister's garden which mysteriously now appeared to be in a very industrial part of Quarry Street in Liverpool. Near where the skateboard park was. Before they built the retirement home. Across the road from the factory that was demolished. You know...the one with the green windowsills.

"I have no idea what you're on about" I said to the woman.

"But it has your name on it. Please call me back" she said.

At that point the phone I was on lost reception so I ended up calling her back using the call history on the mobile phone I appeared to have. I didn't recognise the number. It was an 0161 number which meant it was Manchester.

I called her back and she confused me further by explaining that she was unable to use the database and would I mind popping in to her room and helping her out. I said that I would mind as I didn't work in technical support and my bike was in danger of being stolen. Besides, she probably had comedy inflatable breasts and pointy teeth.

And we all know how to defeat comedy inflatable breasted vampiresses don't we?

Thats right.

I woke up

That'll teach 'em....

I'm still concerned that the database wasn't working properly though....