September 3rd, 2013

o rly

Mea Culpa

In the future, when the sea levels have risen and the likes of Salt Lake City is by the coast and Northamptonshire is a small lagoon. When we are old and grey. When the cost of a penny sweet has risen to that of the GDP of a small African country. People will look around for someone to blame for global warming. They will look through the annals of history, they will check censuses and records and note that I, Stegzy Gnomepants, solely contributed towards the warming of the planet with my increasingly regular commute from Daventry to Nottingham.

They will point the finger at me.

At which point they will notice that I will already be having pureed parsnip forced into my gopping mouth by a disgruntled Polish Nurse with bad body odour in a pissy stink council run nursing home.

And it will be a just and fair punishment.