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February 1st, 2018

February

Oh great. It's February......again. Sheesh....

Long term readers will recall I have no truck with February. Ever since the 1970s when there were two Februaries in a year (a fact that has been hidden from the public and denied by many who either forget or are complicit in the conspiracy) February has plagued mankind with its quadrennial bloat. If February was struck from calendars meaning we went from January (which was definitely a year long this year) straight to March and to compensate we added a few extra days to the remaining months, I'd be much happier. 

Of course, why stop there? While we're at reducing the months, let's do away with Wednesdays. Geldoff might not like Mondays but I don't like Wednesdays. Wednesday makes the week seem more of a chore, in conveniently placed in the centre of the week it gloats at you with its "Ha! You're further away from the weekend than you'll ever be" attitude. So let's do away with Wednesdays too. 

And while we're at it, let's bin the number seven. Never liked seven. Difficult to add up with and always where you end up losing count, going directly from six to eight would be much better and with less numbers we would not need February and Wednesdays either.


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Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon
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