Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon (stegzy) wrote,
Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon

Virtual Tour of Virtually England Addendum:- Technical notes

Following yesterdays tour

Technical notes:

1. It should have been pointed out that, because of the sheer size of England, there is only a three day summer.
2. England is ruled by the Queen

The Queen

3. Tea drinking is a requirement in law and failure to drink tea is punishable by death
4. On no account smile, talk , look at or hold the door open for anyone. To do so is considered very rude and people might think you are a weirdo and kill you, accuse you of being a pervert or mistake you for a conservative party member.
5. Every year the youth of the country gather in a place called Glastonbury where they pay nearly three weeks wages listen to crap music, live in a muddy field, get rained on and covered head to foot in their own excrement for five days. Those of a more refined financial disposition pay the similar amounts to sit round a grassy court in the pissing rain, eat strawberries, watch women grunt and have their hearing ruined by being forced to listen to Cliff Richard. (Only they do that for 2 weeks instead of 5 days)

Hope that's helped clear a few things up
Tags: classic, england, tours
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