You dont have to read this if you dont want to
In 1997 I attended a party. At the party joints were shared and much merry making was had by all. There was 7 people in attendance including myself and though we were good friends conversation was medium.
The table plan was as so
- A and B & C and F were couples
- D and E were just friends
As time went on and I got more and more stoned I noticed a certain pattern in the conversation.
A would chat to B and me, C and D would chat to each other and E and F would chat to each other. Eventually C would get bored of D and attempt to break into E and F's conversation D would then talk across C and try and break into A, B and my conversation. The conversation breaker would take control of the conversation until one or two got bored or didnt find any interest and then one person would be left out. In short the conversation would go round the table in groups of 2. (I hope that makes sense it probably doesnt but next time you are in a conversational group of more than 3 people watch how the conversation forms and shapes)
Of course being stoned made me hyper aware of things,especially how like ripples in a pond (or circles) people would interact and influence each other directly and indirectly. Even by getting up to put the kettle on events changed, conversations changed people moved round. It became clearer and clearer. Eventually I got to a point were I could almost predict (or so I thought) what would happen next by slight movements. eg A might start scratching their nose someone across the table would start or bring their conversation round to smells. Someone would clink a glass or a mug accidently influencing the idea of "get more drinks" into someone else. So on and so forth.
(Am I making sense? Doubt it lol)
Anyway to cut a complex story down I started to notice how events all happened like circles....like cogs in a clock or ripples on a pond. I thought so long and hard about it I convinced myself that by going to sleep that night would result in someones death. Not wanting to be classed as a murderer I stayed awake all night mulling over the theory. Every action I did would influence someone like the butterfly effect. They didnt even have to be in the same location.
By me making a cup of tea I had to buy teabags. The teabags were bought from a supermarket, a small percentage of the price went towards someones wages. The teabags were made in a factory and packed by a packer who also benefitted from my purchase. The tea in the bags was picked from a plantation were someone was in employment and earned a living. Without my purchase those people would have been slightly worse off. (Does that explain? Nah didnt think so....)
Anyway, after further musings I thought about how simple this was and why hadnt anyone else noticed this pattern, after all its pretty obvious. But then I got thinking how we'd all go mad if we started to think like that. So some sort of subconcious method had to be employed to block these thoughts from our minds.
Look about you. How many circular things can you see? Well Im in an office now and all I can see is squares. Square windows, square monitor, square calendar, square pieces of paper. But there are some circular things. The top of my mug is circular, CD's are circular, headphones - circular, speakers - circular....and so on and so forth.
So I drew up a mental list of all things square, rectanglular and cubical and a list of all things circular, oval and spherical. And yet another pattern emerged! The majority of Square things were bad or used as control. Where as circular things tended to be good things. Yet ultimately circles were contained by squares. eg the circular rug was contained in a square (cubical) room. The room was contained in a Square house. However ultimately Circles rule as the square house was contained in a spherical planet and the planet was in the solar system (disc shaped) and so on and so forth. So to distract our thoughts from the circularity of life we fill our environment with squares!
Think about it, when was the last time you saw a round house? Primitive people lived in circular houses!
When was the last time you saw a circular TV set? etc etc
Of course this is used in other ways. I'd illustrate with some pictures but I cant be arsed at the moment. But think about a cigarette. Look at it side on....its rectangular (bad) look at it end on and its circular! (good) but ultimately its contained in a square box......
Right Im going to stop there as I've probably lost you all already. Like I said its probably a load of bollocks but hey I use LJ to put over my inner thoughts and the theory is still with me. Remember the events to this happened nearly 10 years ago. It took me 3 days before I felt safe enough to come out of my flat. puffyfish helped me get over this episode with the simple poem
"Spiraling spiral round and round to the circle forever bound"
I have that on my wall above my PC. I'll photograph it for you at some future date.