Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon (stegzy) wrote,
Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon


I’ve got too many umbrellas; They seem to breed.

I realised this when I packed my shit up and moved from Yorkshire to Warwickshire. In the pile of “Stuff to find homes for” I had 4 golfing umbrellas and 1 walking brolly. That’s only five. But then, in the boot of my car (and still in the boot of my car) I had yet another golfing umbrella, a miniature umbrella (for a handbag that I don’t have) AND the brolly I got specifically for putting in the car for when it rains and I don’t have a coat.

That’s a lot of brollies.

BrollySo most of them went into the lock-up in Liverpool where all my worldly possessions are still. I gave 2 away and thought nothing else of them.

Spin forward nearly 12 months; I’m visiting my mum and dad.

“It’s raining out, you’ll need a brolly” says my dad.

“I don’t have any with me, they’re all in my lock-up or in my car back in Leamington Spa.”

“Well why don’t you take one of the ones you’ve left in the cloakroom” came the reply.

I looked puzzled. More? Moar brolleez?

And there. In the cloak room. Moar brolleez. Not one. But three. One from my youth, one I’d left there when I’d visited in the past and one that I couldn’t remember even owning.

Curiously I don’t appear to have the same breeding success with calculators, money or remote controls.

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