Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon (stegzy) wrote,
Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon

Holibobs 2015 - Conclusion

So what did I get from my holiday?

I've realised that I've had enough of Wales for now. I love wales, especially North Wales. If you offered me the keys to a cottage to live there I’d be off there before you could tell me the conditions of the deal. But like eating chocolate cake every day, you get fed up with something after a while. These feelings aren’t helped by the proliferation of “frightful” families, the modernisation of seaside traditions and how recent summers in Britain have been a bit shit. I suppose living in a holiday-cottage like house in Northamptonshire doesn’t help either, nor do recent once-in-a-lifetime holidays to the Caribbean and Hawaii.

I guess I get the feeling that I want to go elsewhere on holiday in future. Zoe and I talked about doing an A-Z of City break holidays but struggled to find anywhere beginning with X that isn’t China or Mexico. Even then, the prospect of City breaks in places like Fleet, Dundee and Gravesend fail to inspire. Casting our nets overseas adds more money to the overall cost with it being more expensive to get out of the UK than it is to get into the UK.

I also realised that my previous job of driving round the country visiting apprentices has killed my love of driving. Even today sitting still for long periods of time becomes so arduous I want to stand up to relax. To me, driving means competing with dickheads in BMWs and people who have cars bigger than they can handle. Audi and Merc drivers are not much better having witnessed a few nearly kill themselves overtaking on double white lines recently. Even my drive to work in the morning is depressing.

My next holiday should be one where little happens. There should be mojitos, icecream, wifi and sun. Ideally there would be no or failing that very well behaved children. “Entertainment” should be kept to a minimum and waiters should be summoned by a flag or an iPad app or something to bring me what I desire food-wise by the poolside. To get there it should be no more than a 4 hour flight unless sleeping tablets are provided and crucially it should be one that I can afford. Sadly, most places seem to be “family” orientated or full of pensioners and Sods Law being the rule, I’ll probably end up in Wales again next year too.


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