Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon (stegzy) wrote,
Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon


While going through most of my life not being completely attentive to people giving me “the signals” and after the revelation that being asked to join someone to “watch Netflix and chill” meant, if I thought about it long enough, I may have missed out on many offers of sex, I’m kind of concerned that I’m still not picking up the signals even my good lady wife, zoefruitcake , may be giving me. So here is a list of possible invitations for sexual congress I may have missed from people both at home and at work.

The cat is in the sink
Put some fizz into my bottle of water
Did the postman come?
Where are my keys?
Can you show me how to change the toner in the photocopier?
It’s cold in here, can you put a fire on?
I’m rather pleased with my TTA this week
Can you help me with a MATCH statement in Excel?
Must you leave your shoes there?


Recently I have removed the mobile data function from my phone. It started by accident. I was trying to reduce my mobile phone expenditure and it seems I inadvertently selected a package where mobile data was expensive.

At first I was a bit miffed. I couldn’t check in to places (data usage), I couldn’t check my emails (data usage) and sometimes text messages wouldn’t send (data usage) through imessenger. Gradually though my addiction to data waned and with it, fixation on “non-essential” internettery such as Facebook, Twitter and the like.

I still use them but only when there is wifi or I am sat with my lap or desk top computers. Even my lunchtime iPad usage is limited to a “like” splurge before more important things like reading emails and checking the news.

Do I miss data? No. Not really. I see other people hunched over squinting at their iPads, iPhones and other mobile devices instead of engaging or appreciating their surroundings. I have observed how some people are either really bored with their friends or just ignorant and, in tandem, I have noticed how some norm social convention interactions have become fractured, stilted and simplistic in nature. I fear for the future of humanity.


While also musing over the end times, I also find myself uninterested in prescribed television and ask myself “What kind of person finds this interesting/entertaining?”

Scrolling down the listings on Freesat I noticed Adult Babestation still broadcasts its tame soft “porn” most of the day. Do people tune in and sit watching clothed women pretending to talk on the phone? Yes they’re mostly pretending. I know this because I’ve been into the studios at Red Hot TV where similar goings on take place. Apparently, it “takes off” after midnight but only with really tame stuff. You can probably get more thrills from page 3 or stronger kicks from the likes of xHamster or Porntube. Software aside, would anyone admit to deliberately tuning into other channels like Daystar, Information TV or Clubland TV for more than cursory curiosity?

Of course none of this will make any sense to anyone who doesn't have a TV or live in the UK.

Finally, following on from the Netflix thing a poll:

Poll #2037503 Blue Balls

What do you understand the phrase "Blue Balls" to mean

Blue coloured balls
Cold testicles
A liquor that tastes of oranges
something to do with snooker
the sensation of heaviness in the genital area typically experienced by males who have been overly aroused but unrelieved for a long time
something to do with donkeys
I am allergic to balls
I am offended by balls
There is no such thing
It's a plant
It's a trap
It's a knockout
Something I will explain in comments
Something I would love to explain in comments but I am too lazy
I'm not really here
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