Today, according to Days of the Year, is Buffet Day. However, as it is zero day of 2017's return to Slimming World, I doubt I'll be partaking in any buffets unless they feature scan bran, lots of carrots and slices of meat. But a buffet is not a buffet without some sausage rolls and those pieces of cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks stuck into half a potato...

As predicted, the cold that the Queen gave me that has ruined the last 4 days of my holiday, appears to be receding with the approach of the return to work tomorrow. I expect to be snot and cough free by 8am tomorrow morning as if I have been blessed by a miracle healer or Rasputin. Still, there are a few hours of feeling like shit remaining until then.

In an attempt to get out of the house and do something productive Wife v2.0 and I made an attempt to clear out old shite from the garage. The garage currently contains a whole heap of tree branches that have been drying out since last year for burning. Of course, branches are too big to fit in a wood burner at the moment so I had a go with the new CHAINSAW [whilst monitoring all sorts of health and safety checks and procedures to ensure myself and those around me were not at risk of any limb, digit or member loss] and managed to chop up two branches before the battery conked out. Meh. All was not lost though, we managed to off load a case of tins of paint, a breeze of fans and a kindling of drawers into the local municipal tip.

Having been lax of late in reserving the Stegzy handle for emerging social media sites (I was too late for Instagram and Snapchat) I was rather chuffed to reserve it on emerging Twitter and Whatsapp successor, Telegram. I'll probably never use it as I'm not very popular but hey, at least I get to make stupid pictures and feel smug that THE OTHER STEGZYs in the world will have to suffer without....muhahahahaha