Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon (stegzy) wrote,
Stegzonopolis Gnomicpantalon

Darn pit

I have low Vitamin D.

Possibly because I'm a northerner and have lived a short spell in Gods own county, Yorkshire (technically the south bit; that's where all the culture is) and lived near a former coal mine for a few years. Indeed, it is quite possible that it is because I slather myself in zinc sunblock when I go outside for fear of getting sunburn. Moreover, it is also highly likely that it is due to my love of Islamic fashions and my continuous wearing of a full-length burqua.

So last month I subjected myself to a "supplement" of 2 ampoules of Vitamin D a week for six weeks. Horrid stuff. Tasted like oily chocolate orange. Oh how the guys down the pit laughed when I told them about it all especially Old Jimmy "Bandy legs" Brown. He laughed so much his last tooth fell out.

Next week I'm hoping that my GP will diagnose me with scurvy, that way I'll hopefully get to have bags of oranges on the NHS. After that, no doubt the doctor will scold me for my Marmite aversion causing my bad dose of beriberi. I only have myself to blame. Woe is me.

In other news though. New car on Wednesday. It will look like this:

Only in black and with a floppy roof.

In other other news. Left alone to my own devices at the weekend I foolishly watched Sinister II before watching hours of Youtube videos about Number Stations. Silly thing to do really. Fortunately the man who hides in the attic and the creepy dwarf guy who lives in the cupboard under the stairs kept the odd menacing scarecrow figure in the allotments at bay. That and the occasional knocking on the wall from the empty house next door.

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